I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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