I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
