listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize