my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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