She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
