Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
