You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
