Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
