She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
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New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
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But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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