yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We got so high we made milksteak
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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