I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
