Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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