Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
