i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
