i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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