im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize