He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
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Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
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He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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