I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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