im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
