I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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