i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
