we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
did i walk over a car last night?
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I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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