Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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