Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
