It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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