If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We got so high we made milksteak
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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