Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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