good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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