scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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