Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
