Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
