And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
