i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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