Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We got so high we made milksteak
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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