let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
