Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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