"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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