those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
