I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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