I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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