I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
