Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
