What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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