Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
