if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
