I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
