He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
