idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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