I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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