my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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