Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
