Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I died a long time ago.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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