Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
