this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
