Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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