Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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