i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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