I don't think brook has ever known best
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
