are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
