remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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