I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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