I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We have started to decorate penises.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize