you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
