I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
