I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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